ThemeIdentity & Self
CardCard 17 of 66
Questions5 to explore

Expectations

What you expect from yourself & others

The expectations you carry are often older than the situation you are in.

You have expectations of yourself: how much you should achieve, how fast, with how much effort, and what that achievement should look like. You have expectations of other people: how a manager should behave, what teammates should contribute, how recognition should work. A lot of professional frustration traces back to expectations that were never examined or made explicit.

Some expectations are healthy and worth holding onto. Others were formed a long time ago, under different circumstances, and no longer serve you. An expectation that you should always have the answer, for example, might have served you in school but becomes a liability when you move into unfamiliar territory. An expectation that good work will be noticed without you saying anything may simply not match the environment you are in.

Getting clear on your expectations does not mean lowering your standards. It means understanding where each expectation came from and whether it is still a good fit for where you are now.

How to work on it

Practical ways to reflect on and develop this dimension of your working life. How it tends to look at different stages of a career, and where to put your attention.

Early in your career

Many early-career expectations come from school, family, or idealized pictures of what work would be like. Check them against reality explicitly rather than assuming the gap means you or the environment is failing.

Mid-career

Expectations tend to harden over time. If you have been disappointed by the same thing repeatedly, it may be worth asking whether the expectation itself is realistic or useful, not just whether the world keeps getting it wrong.

Later in your career

Your expectations now influence other people around you, whether you intend this or not. Being clear about what you actually expect from colleagues and direct reports, rather than leaving them to guess, is both fairer and more effective.

Questions to explore

Use these on your own or in a group. There are no right answers, only better conversations.

What do you expect from yourself professionally, and where did that standard come from?
What do you tend to expect from managers, and how does that expectation affect the relationships you have with them?
Where in your work life do you regularly feel let down, and what expectation sits underneath that feeling?
Are there expectations you hold that you have never actually named to the people involved?
What would you give yourself permission to stop expecting?

Things to notice

Implicit expectations are the most dangerous kind: you feel the disappointment fully but never asked for what you wanted.
High expectations of yourself can be a strength, but paired with low tolerance for imperfection they become a source of constant friction.
Sometimes what feels like other people failing to meet your expectations is actually a signal that the expectation needs updating.